so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
