also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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