I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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