I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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