please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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