Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
