We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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