i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
