you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
