You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it glows. i had to have it.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
