Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
