I understand Curling. That high.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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