literally had 100 drinks last night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
