I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
All I want is dick and wine.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
