Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.