oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
