Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.

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  (949): mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday. http://tfl.nu/tvnz
  Replies (38) Good night (645) Bad night (4279)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.

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  (240): oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie. http://tfl.nu/8aj5
  Replies (9) Good night (687) Bad night (3862)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.

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  (609): I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke. http://tfl.nu/r10e
  Replies (27) Good night (4913) Bad night (1303)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me

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  (970): Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me http://tfl.nu/7cqx
  Replies (5) Good night (2485) Bad night (679)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.

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  (509): Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival. http://tfl.nu/kooj
  Replies (9) Good night (1690) Bad night (623)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.

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  (920): I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up. http://tfl.nu/mqfc
  Replies (6) Good night (1690) Bad night (603)
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  (714): View more from California

  i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo

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  (714): i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/2wsz
  Replies (2) Good night (1186) Bad night (400)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.

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  (318): Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun. http://tfl.nu/0u88
  Replies (7) Good night (574) Bad night (1323)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.

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  (785): And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week. http://tfl.nu/s5eh
  Replies (10) Good night (744) Bad night (1973)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.

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  (218): Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else. http://tfl.nu/z0p4
  Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (814)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in

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  (503): if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store. (1-503): oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in http://tfl.nu/nfm9
  Replies (7) Good night (889) Bad night (363)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.

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  (479): I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home. http://tfl.nu/t2fg
  Replies (7) Good night (392) Bad night (884)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......

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  (757): Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer....... http://tfl.nu/j7h7
  Replies (0) Good night (299) Bad night (426)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.

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  (607): Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on. http://tfl.nu/m1je
  Replies (2) Good night (496) Bad night (225)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  nobody was home so I boiled the dildo

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  (413): nobody was home so I boiled the dildo http://tfl.nu/brzp
  Replies (8) Good night (466) Bad night (274)

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