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• (207): View more from Maine

  there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.

  Fav 24 3179 1019

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.

  (518): View more from New York

  So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (650): View more from California

  At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito

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• (716): View more from New York

  I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.

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