he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT