Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.

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(716): View more from New York

Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her

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(865): View more from Tennessee

He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears

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(213): View more from California

Her brother is deaf.

(214): View more from Texas

no wonder she was so good with her hands

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Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.

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(916): View more from California

Sadness tears and throw up everywhere

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(207): View more from Maine

you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit

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(972): View more from Texas

Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.

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