Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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