Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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