Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
