Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
