Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
