I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
