dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
