Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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