I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
