I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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