is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
