The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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