What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
