I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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