where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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