Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
