It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
