You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
