I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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