Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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