Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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