Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
