this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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