so explain again why im purple
no
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
