i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
