I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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