2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well