i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.