let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.