a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"