I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she told me i tasted like america
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.