you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize