did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?