Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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