Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We had to coat check the pizza.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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