Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
