I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
