6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Randomize
