He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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