Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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