He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
