Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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