R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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