Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
