My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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