I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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