Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
