I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
