dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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