She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
