Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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