I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
