Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Randomize
