she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
