I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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