don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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