Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
