so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
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We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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