How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
