i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We were destined to go to rehab together
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
