Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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