Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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